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Living In Japan As a Foreigner (The Good, Bad, & WTF)

Hi, my name is Jessica. I have spent just over 3 years living in Japan as a foreigner in the Hyogo prefecture, spending most of my weekends and free time in Osaka โ€“ the city that forever stole my heart.

Living in Japan is one of the best things I have ever done and this is what my experience was like, from the good to the bad, and yep, sometimes the ugly.

Backpackingman note: This is a guest post from a friend of mine Jessica, whom I met while travelling in Japan. Sheโ€™s also a big fan of my favourite city in Japan, Osaka.


Living in Japan as a foreigner

During my first year of living in Japan, I worked as an ALT (Assistant Language Teacher) for the JET Program. While I adored the staff and the other teachers at the high school where I was placed, I was disappointed with the overall job, so I quit.

I knew I wasnโ€™t finished with living in Japan after only one year so I decided to look for another job. For the last two years, I worked as a daycare assistant in the nursery at an international school. I couldnโ€™t have been happier with the diverse staff, adorable students, and my overall duties as a daycare teacher.

In addition, I started working one night a week at a bar in Osaka, where I eventually met Jonny (Backpackingman). A few months before leaving, I realized that in the future I might forget what my life was like living in Japan, both the good and not-so-good aspects.

I didnโ€™t want the details of such an important part of my life to be forgotten, so I decided to create a list: a list of things about living in Japan I would miss and a list of the things I wouldnโ€™t miss.

I would go about my day as usual and write down things when I saw them or remembered them. I tried to write down everything, not wanting any details to stay behind in Japan. In the end, I had two long lists with roughly 50 bullet points each.

Jonny contacted me and asked if Iโ€™d be interested in writing a blog post for him about living in Japan as a foreigner. I told him I wasnโ€™t interested in blogging (I donโ€™t consider myself a good enough writer to do so) (Backpackingman note: sheโ€™s great!) but that I did have a list of good and bad points about living in Japan that Iโ€™d be willing to share.

So, here we are. I kept the same bullet points but added a brief description or explanation where I thought it was needed (especially in the โ€œwonโ€™t missโ€ list).

Before reading, know my biases:

First and foremost, I wrote this from the perspective of an American. Many points, especially some of the many things that I will miss about living in Japan, will only make sense or apply to Americans, regardless of gender.

Secondly, I wrote this from the perspective of a woman โ€“  a white American woman who first came to Japan knowing very little about the people and culture outside of anime or media influence, and who *still* doesnโ€™t speak the language fluently.

Thirdly, I grew up in a desert environment. In moving to and living in Japan, I had to deal with the surprises and challenges of adapting to a sub-tropical climate. A few of my points reflect that struggle.

Lastly, remember that this is all based on my own experiences and opinions. I am not an expert on Japan. Plenty of foreigners living in Japan will disagree with my points, and itโ€™s okay for you to disagree as well.

If you are completely new to Japan some of these topics might go over your head. Nevertheless, I hope it can be helpful to anyone thinking of living in Japan (long-term or just for a few years).

For the readers who are already there, I hope some of it can at least be relatable.

Cheers!

Jessica.


Things I will miss about living in Japan

  • TRAINS! TRAINS! TRAINS! 

The thing I dislike most of all being back home after living in Japan is dealing with the endless money pit that is owning a vehicle. I hate, hate, hate cars!

Itโ€™s not just the trains that I will miss, but public transportation in general and the lifestyle that accompanies it. Public transportation is so much less expensive and stressful than driving.

On top of that, there is nowhere else that does public transportation as well as Japan. It is affordable (minus bullet trains), prompt, has diverse routing options and is so clean. This is the best thing about living in Japan, hands down!

  • Nightlife 
  • bars/clubs open all night
  • alcohol sold 24 hours
  • open drinking in the streets
  • the general vibe of drinking in a hugely compacted city with bars and clubs just feet apart
  • Osaka 
  • the memories that flashback
  • the way Iโ€™m mesmerized when I see all the lights
  • the smell of dirt, cigarettes, and alcohol-infused vomit
  • taking birthday pictures with Glico Running Man
  • exploring the narrow streets that are all the same, yet somehow different
  • how there is always something new and weird to find
  • the strange feeling of belonging even though I know I donโ€™tโ€ฆ
  • The way Japanese cities are built up and not out (the exact opposite of Phoenix) 

This makes the streets narrow, buildings tall, and city lights bright. The atmosphere is compact and overcrowded and just what I like

  • Night views from the tops of tall buildings or mountain lookouts

Night views in Japan are nothing less than magical. (Another good aspect of cities built up instead of out.)

Every time I visited a new city in Japan I would find the highest view and make the time to see it. Usually, there is a tall skyscraper in every city that has an observatory at the very top. Cities like Tokyo and Osaka have many different observatory options.

Other cities have a mountain not far from the city center with a cable car or bus that will take you to the top to see the view. It can be pricey but so worth it.

  • Cute mascots and characters for every prefecture, city, park, etc..

Souvenir shopping when living in Japan is the best. My favorite thing is the city mascots, but there are always a lot of other really nice high-quality merchandise available if cute faces are not your thing. If nothing else, find a souvenir with Engrish on it. That is always a win for everyone.

  • How everything is cute, often incorporating food and animals together. 

I canโ€™t properly explain the food/animal combination, and I also canโ€™t explain why it is so adorable. Itโ€™s like prints with sashimi cats on top of rice, rabbits inside of crepes, or small fluffy dogs in between two pieces of sandwich bread.

If you want to see what I am talking about, google โ€œGachapon sushi cats.โ€ Be prepared to die from cuteness overload.

  • The abundance of time off, both national holidays and teaching-related 

In just 3 years and 4 months of living in Japan, I traveled to 15 other countries and explored close to all of Japan solely because of time off.

Just to clarify, this is particular to working as an ALT or working at an international school where a significant number of the employed staff are foreigners. As you might know, Japan is famous for people literally dying from overwork.

As a rule, asking for time off, even on national holidays, can be subject to workplace hostility.

True story:
When living in Japan I was an ALT there was a teacher I worked with who would go on 3-4 day weekend trips abroad with her family in secret. She only told me about them because she felt if the other Japanese staff knew they would judge her for not โ€œworking as hard as they were.โ€

If you end up working for a Japanese company when living in Japan or working at a public school as a full-time teaching staff, donโ€™t expect to be able to take advantage of your holiday time off like I did.

  • Certain seasonal happenings, apart from just watching the seasons change day by day

Phoenix does have all 4 seasons, however, they arenโ€™t very noticeable. I really enjoyed watching how nature changed around me day by day while living in Japan. Some specific things I will miss about each season include:

  • maple tree viewing in fall
  • flowers and boozy picnics in spring (Actually, there are beautiful flowers blooming all year.)
  • onsen with ocean or mountaintop views, heated toilet seats (though this wouldnโ€™t be necessary if buildings were heated properly), and the extremely fluffy clothes and blankets that come out during winter
  • greenery and wearing my yukata in summer
  • Japanese courtesy, orderliness, and patience โ€“especially in large crowds 

This includes: not being pushed or cut in line, letting people off the train before getting on, and the quietness on public transport.

In general, I really donโ€™t mind people talking, but sometimes itโ€™s nice to just sit and not be distracted by the other people around you.

  • Cleanliness

Yes, itโ€™s true. Japan is very clean and one of the best things about living in Japan.

I think there are a lot of reasons for this, mainly that Japanese people are just good about not littering and being courteous. Another reason is that the poorer, rundown parts of town are conveniently out of sight.

This doesnโ€™t mean you wonโ€™t see any trash in the city center. In fact, Osaka is probably the dirtiest place in Japan โ€“ and you can easily see this walking around the morning after a Friday or Saturday night.

The cool thing is that while Osaka gets dirty, it quickly becomes clean again. I noticed that at around 6 am, there are often senior citizens out sweeping the streets and picking up beer cans. I donโ€™t know if they are paid to do this by the city or if they do it to keep the front of their businesses clean, but it sure does make a big difference.

  • My job 

The overall job as an ALT when living in Japan is pointless (a subject worthy of a separate blog post), but I absolutely loved working in the nursery at an international school. I miss the babies so much.

  • I generally felt a strong sense of safety, both during the day and at night by myself, when living in Japan. 

This includes not worrying about my stuff getting stolen if I leave things outside, not worrying about being scammed, and not worrying about being mugged, kidnapped, or raped at gunpoint. *key words in Italics*

I will acknowledge that Iโ€™m doubtful that living in Japan is actually as safe as its reputation implies, though it sure does feel safe. I know that crime is systematically underreported (especially in Osaka), and sex crimes against women and children are brushed under the rug, almost always without any trial or conviction of the offender.

My advice: take Japanโ€™s safety reputation with a grain of salt, especially as a woman.

  • Not worrying about the possibility of outrageously expensive medical bills when living in Japan, even without insurance

Specifically for the Americans reading this: this is a big deal! I donโ€™t need to explain any further. You know whatโ€™s up.

  • Traveling in Japan and the endless amounts of things to do and see 

I used to hear from other foreigners that they didnโ€™t like to travel in Japan because every city was the same. There is absolutely some truth in that, which is why I was so intrigued to find the differences others couldnโ€™t see.

For me, living in Japan and traveling in Japan felt so easygoing that it was impossible not to enjoy.

  • The ease of traveling outside of Japan to the rest of Asia

If I remember correctly, my one-way flight to Singapore from Osaka was around $100 off-season. I couldnโ€™t fly down the street for $100 in the U.S.

  • Meeting travelers and making friends from all over the world. 

The foreign community living in Japan is small, but itโ€™s still pretty diverse. While working in a bar, I really enjoyed meeting travelers. Not many tourists come to Phoenix.

  • Being told I am beautiful all the time

Foreigners get a lot of compliments in Japan, and who doesnโ€™t love a good compliment? I especially enjoyed it when people told me my boobs were big, my teeth were white, or that I had a nice ass.

I know I will never get those compliments again now that I am back home.

  • Halloween in Osaka. 

Halloween in Japan is fun for adults if you live in a big city like Tokyo or Osaka. Loads of people dress up and drink outside in public spaces, just chilling and taking pictures with each other. There are also a lot of events at clubs and bars that arenโ€™t too pricey.

Unfortunately, the fun is only for adults. There is nothing fun for kids other than decorations in train stations or shops.

  • Pre-gaming at a cheap Izakaya nomihoudai (restaurant bars with all-you-can-drink menus for a set price and time limit)

By far the cheapest way to drink in Japan is to find a nomihoudai. Itโ€™s usually something like all-you-can-drink for 1.5-2 hours for $15-30. Every city is different.

Beware the alcohol selections suck, though. Your choices are Japanese beer, plum wine, shochu, or watery chuhai cocktails.

  • Some specific food and beverage items 
  • matchahoujicha (roasted green tea), and milk tea-flavored treats
  • Japanese chocolate (Meiji, Ghana, Alfort, etc.)
  • umeshu (Japanese plum wine)
  • unsweetened oolong/green teas are available everywhere
  • royal milk tea (Lipton brand specifically)
  • my favorite all-you-can-eat shabu-shabu restaurant Tajimaya (locations all over Japan). It even has an all-you-can-eat Haagen Dazs ice cream bar
  • Food challenges

Japanese food is so terrible that I often got to challenge myself and eat something exceptionally gross โ€“ things like raw chicken, random animal bits and parts of unknown origin (possibly raw), things that smell so bad you would rather die than take a second bite.

Itโ€™s always fun to challenge yourself.

  • The smell of high-quality incense at ryokan and temples

I never thought incense smelled good until I came to Japan. The smell is so nice that you can buy air fresheners mimicking it, which is slightly cheaper than buying the real incense at a shrine or temple.

  • Recycle bins wherever thereโ€™s a trash bin (so basically only in train stations, behind the gates on specific platforms)
  • Japanese dollar stores and all of the hella useful junk

Useful tip: if you have just started living in Japan and your apartment is empty, go to the 100 yen stores first (Daiso and Seria). They have almost everything youโ€™ll need besides furniture, especially if you are only staying a year or so.

The quality of the products is surprisingly good, so long as you arenโ€™t bothered by having plastic everything.

  • Trying new snacks, pastries, and desserts at the konbini (convenience stores)

Japanese convenience stores are a little over-rated. I never thought the food was that good, though I would constantly hear other people praise it unconditionally.

Iโ€™ll admit one thing that was fun was trying the new items that came out on a seemingly weekly basis. However, it was always rare for me to find something really good, and when I did, it would usually disappear after a week and never come back.

Nevertheless, it was still exciting to always find new products. I especially liked when new chocolate or tea-flavored desserts would come out. The desserts are way better than the packaged meals or snacks.

  • The button you press for the waiter/waitress to come to your table at restaurants and izakaya

Mostly just at izakaya, but yes, there really is a button to call for service. Itโ€™s brilliant. There is also sometimes a computerized tablet that you can order your food from. Itโ€™s perfect for recluses like me who donโ€™t want to talk to anyone, including servers.

  • Not tipping 

No tipping in Japan ever! The only downside to this is when youโ€™re working as a bartender.

  • Food sold 30-50% off at the grocery store when the sell-by date is near

Tip: If you can, go grocery shopping later in the day around dinner time or later when everything goes on sale. Itโ€™ll save you a lot of money, especially on fruit, meat, condiments, and pre-made meals!

  • The theme music playing in the background at grocery stores and Don Quijote. 

I donโ€™t know why I like this about living in Japan. The songs are just so oddly specific and catchy. Theyโ€™ll get stuck in your head and youโ€™ll sing them all the time.

I also walk into these stores and thank my lucky stars I donโ€™t work there and have to listen to the same jingle played over and over again for a full 8-hour shift. A daily reminder that your job could be so much worse is always a blessing.

  • Cheap lockers are available at clubs, train stations, museums, etc.
  • Restaurant listings with pictures on the first floor of buildings and plastic food displays in front of restaurant entrances 
  • Soft water, no hot water tanks, decent tasting tap water, and detachable showerheads
  • Wearing a surgical mask when I have a runny nose
  • Using convenient Japanese words and expressions in everyday speech

Weirdly enough, I think I will miss โ€œใˆใˆใˆใˆใˆ!?โ€ the most. Itโ€™s useful, always appropriate, and especially funny when drunk.

  • Using Japanese TV for background noise. 

Japanese TV is famously terrible, shockingly terrible โ€“ which makes it perfect to have on as background noise. Living alone is lonely. Having the TV on helps with those feelings, and with Japanese TV you are never tempted to stop what you are doing to watch it.

  • The look and style of Japanese houses from the outside. 

Japanese houses are so beautiful and unique.

Note: ONLY FROM THE OUTSIDE. Scroll down to see how I feel about the inside of Japanese houses.

I will add one more thing- Japanese houses (not apartments) have wooden bars on all of the windows. I loved this!  They made me feel safe enough to leave the windows open all night long.

  • Bowing slightly to acknowledge someone, say thank you, or excuse yourself

Any instance that gets me out of talking makes me happy. Bowing is the perfect yet polite way to not say anything ever.

  • Employers paying for your transportation costs to and from work

This is the norm in Japan which is really nice.

As an ALT on the JET Program, you usually donโ€™t get this luxury. When I worked for the international school they paid for a monthly train pass that was about an extra $350 per month. Even better, I could use the train pass on the weekends, as well.

It was a lifesaver for my budget.

  • Having net cafes and cheap love hotels to crash at if shit gets real 

Beware some love hotels are straight-up โ€œJapanese Only.โ€ Most donโ€™t allow same-sex couples.

  • Refill bags for shampoo, laundry detergent, and cleaning products

There are also sample packets for any shampoo and conditioner you want to try โ€“ super convenient and fun to buy for traveling.

  • Feeling completely uncomfortable in bizarre cultural situations that could never happen outside of Japan 

I guess this is that โ€œculture shockโ€ thing everyone keeps talking aboutโ€ฆ I actually really enjoy feeling uncomfortable in this way every once in a while.

  • Meeting a Japanese person who is seemingly different from the rest and it reminds me to not be such a prejudiced asshole. 

I especially enjoyed running into a strong-willed, loud-mouthed Japanese woman or sitting next to groups of women talking loudly and laughing with each other on public transportation or in restaurants.

Japanese women are stereotyped to be quiet, weak, and void of opinion or personality. It filled me with so much joy to see the opposite.

And just for the record, it happened quite often.

  • Living somewhere friendly to introverts 

America is a loud place. People are always talking. I enjoy the happy vibes, friendly people, and culture of constant discussion, but I think there is something special about quietness.

In Japan, being shy or introverted isnโ€™t weird; itโ€™s quite normal. As someone who can relate to introversion more than extroversion, I will always miss feeling the comforting quiet of Japan.

Japan travel tip: If youโ€™re planning to travel around to different parts of Japan a Japan Rail Pass (get one with that link) can save a lot of money on the fast Shinkansen trains.


Things I Will Not Miss About Living in Japan

  • THE FOOD!

Specifically?  Almost everything โ€“ both traditional Japanese cuisine and Japanese adaptations of Western or other Asian cuisines.

I donโ€™t even know where to start complaining about this but really itโ€™s quite simple: Japanese food is dull.

The food scene is so dull and boring that itโ€™s by far the biggest disappointment I have about Japan. Japanese food is bland, overly simplistic, and completely underwhelming.

When going out to eat, there is literally no creativity or variation from one restaurantโ€™s menu to another. Cafe food is, without exception, always gross. Food stands, festival food, and bar food are the same at every stand, festival, and bar. Even when you travel to a new city and search for that cityโ€™s famous dishes there is almost no variation.

Imagine traveling to a new city and finding out that they have a famous type of ramen, only to find out that itโ€™s the same exact ramen as everywhere else but with a half-boiled egg on top. This is the Japanese food scene in a nutshell.

I could go on and on, complaining until the cows come home, but I think Iโ€™ve made my point. And to be completely honest, Iโ€™m fucking tired of complaining about this. Sorry to all my friends in Japan who had to deal with my relentless grumbling; I got tired of it, too.

  • Not being able to eat most fruits and many vegetables daily because they are too expensive or unavailable.

I really canโ€™t live without eating fruit, and the selection and affordability of both fruits and vegetables in Japan are pathetic.

Be ready to pay $6 for a puny pack of strawberries, $9 for two peaches, and $8 for a small pack of grapes. You donโ€™t even want to know about the melons.

  • Japanese housing

A friend of mine from California once mentioned to me that living in a Japanese house or apartment is like living in a garage. She could not have been more spot-on.

Be ready for all of these issues and more:

  • no insulation or centralized heating or cooling โ€“ which means whatever temperature it is outside will be the exact temperature inside
  • walls and floors are made of paper, grassy bits, and cardboard (this is not an exaggeration)
  • major mold infestations
  • a lack of ventilation
  • little natural light
  • loads of bugs in summer
  • The complete lack of human and cultural diversity
  • Being away from my family
  • How your girlfriends will always leave

For all the women reading this and thinking of living in Japan long-term, just keep in mind that most (if not all) of your non-Japanese girlfriends will leave you.

Japan isnโ€™t a friendly place for foreign women. I wonโ€™t get into the details of that, but just know my experience: I started out with a group of 4 other girls that I did everything with. Three years later, I was the only one left.

I have only met one foreign woman who has lived in Japan forever, but she has lived there since she was a child. I knew a couple of others who had been there for over 10 years, and coincidently, finally went back to their home countries the last year I was there.

Iโ€™m not saying long-term foreign female residents donโ€™t exist. They most certainly do. Just know that itโ€™s not common, and be prepared to continuously say goodbye to great friends.

  • Having to import basic necessities from America because Japanese products are shit (ex: deodorant, toothpaste, cold and pain medicine) 
  • Japanese men and the way they make me feel inhuman 

As a general rule, just remember that women are not really considered people in Japan- just an object to look cute, clean, do chores, and prepare bento lunches.

Sounds harsh, but where is the lie?

Honestly, Iโ€™m not yet sure if American men make me feel any better. Iโ€™m just saying that I have more of a chance to feel human and that my thoughts and feelings will actually matter if I live somewhere other than Japan.

  • Missing Thanksgiving and Christmas. 

Christmas in Japan is depressing and one of the lesser things I like about living there. Thanksgiving is my favorite meal, so missing it was depressing.

The good thing about Christmas in Japan is that itโ€™s easy to take it off as an extension of your holiday break.

My first Christmas I spent skiing in Nagano. My second and third were spent traveling in Hong Kong and Thailand. Not too shabby for what could have otherwise been a depressing holiday!

  • Japanese logic โ€“ little critical thinking and reasoning skills, the inability to question authority, mainstream thought, cultural norms, explain why rules exist, or think beyond the box 

Yo, I know that sounds harsh, but hear me out:

Itโ€™s pretty well known that the Japanese education system doesnโ€™t focus on researching to find answers or teaching the necessity of critical thinking. Teachers dictate students write, teachers give tests, students fail tests, and students pass their classes and graduate anyway. Enter university and repeat all steps.

Thatโ€™s all well and fineโ€ฆ until itโ€™s not well and fine.

I wouldnโ€™t give a ratโ€™s ass about this unless it affected me on a personal level. Surprise, surprise! Itโ€™s something that cannot be avoided.

Be ready for this cycle to affect every aspect of your life in Japan:

When youโ€™re at work and it seems like no one is listening to your issues, giving you the same mindless responses no matter how many times you reword the problem.

When you are at a restaurant trying to change an order; when you are at the airport customer service desk (or really any customer service desk) asking simple yet very important questions; when you are in any situation imaginable requesting information, searching for a general explanation, or trying to solve a problem.

All of those situations which you would never think could be complicated suddenly become impossible in Japan.

Heads up, it can be exhausting.

  • Bizarre rules that make no real sense in modern times and should have changed years agoโ€ฆ but probably never will.

Short and sweet, Japan has a hard time changing โ€“ legally, socially, technologically, and in the business world. This means there are a lot of old unspoken rules or laws that seem odd for a country with such a high standard of education and livelihood.

A quick and famous example of this is the rule banning people with tattoos from gyms, onsen, clubs, etc. Itโ€™s not good enough for people to just cover up their tattoos. If staff find out you have them, covered or not, you will be asked to leave and your membership will likely be terminated.

  • Living in a country that doesnโ€™t speak English.

This is just an obvious point to remember: that you will consistently be inconvenienced.

Yes, you should learn and speak Japanese if you plan to live in Japan long-term (which I never did), but until you learn Japanese (which could take many, many years) it can be extremely inconvenient, especially when you need to do something over the phone, or when you get yourself into some kind of a pickle (as I often did).

Basic Japanese will do you fine for everyday life for the first couple of years, but I canโ€™t imagine living there longer than that and not learning the language at least to a conversational level. Itโ€™s one of the reasons I left when I did.

I lost interest in learning the language.

  • I was having the same conversation over and over.

Iโ€™ve heard many foreigners complain about this, and itโ€™s definitely one of the reasons why I eventually lost interest in learning Japanese.

Conversations with Japanese people rarely diverge from the same basic questions โ€“ things like โ€œWhere are you from?โ€ โ€œCan you eat Japanese food?โ€ โ€œYou like to have sex with Japanese boys?โ€

You know, things like that. There are a couple of other prominent ones, but I wonโ€™t spoil the fun of figuring them out for yourself.

The point is that this gets exhausting, especially on a weekly or daily basis, and especially when I worked as a bartender. During the first and second years, it didnโ€™t bother me, but by the third year, I was actively avoiding conversing with Japanese people just so I didnโ€™t have to endure the same conversation again.

I feel bad because itโ€™s not their fault. I know that the opportunities to meet foreigners are rare, and they canโ€™t know how annoying their questions are. It just sucked because it made it hard sometimes to make real Japanese friends.

  • Being ignored by shop staff because they assumed I didnโ€™t speak Japanese. 

I guess pretending that I am not there is better than attempting to speak even one word in English, not like I ever asked or expected them to do so. This really was a rarity, but it happened often enough for me to not miss it.

  • How if something really bad were to happen to me the police would likely be completely and utterly useless and I would have little chance at justice.

Research violence against women in Japan and the statistics on rape case prosecution and conviction โ€“ itโ€™s not pretty.

  • Extremely out-of-date medical ideas and practices. 

Going to see a doctor in Japan can be the most frustrating thing in the world, with or without language barriers. I would continuously hear from doctors that one of the kids at school was sick because โ€œThe air conditioner was set too cold in the room,โ€ or that one of the babies in my class had a fever because โ€œThey drank too much cold tea.โ€

What the actual fuck is that? Iโ€™m still waiting for a logical explanation.

My own experiences at the doctorโ€™s offices werenโ€™t much better. You have to really pressure them to give you the right test or to give you stronger medicine if the first one they gave you didnโ€™t work. And they often downplay how contagious you are.

I guess the upside is that they are affordable to see so you can continue to go back and demand better treatment until youโ€™re satisfied.

  • Japanese medicine 

Itโ€™s very weak compared to Western medicine, even some of the stuff the doctor prescribes.

  • Japanese cleaning products

Both in the way they *donโ€™t* clean and the way they smell like either a flower garden explosion or a mix of Ramune and toilet water.

  • Japanese washing machines 

Kind of like medicine, they just donโ€™t work. Expect to never have fully clean clothes.

  • Japanese dentistry

True story: I went to a dentist in Hyogo prefecture for a โ€œcleaning.โ€ The dentist literally brushed my teeth with an everyday toothbrush and then brushed generic Listerine mouthwash onto each tooth, and then sent me on my way.

I donโ€™t know what the deal is, but Japan has by far the worst oral hygiene situation of any of the developed countries Iโ€™ve been to.

The 2-year-olds in my class would often have chipped and rotting baby teeth. I would see kids under 10 years old with front silver fillings and discolored enamel, and it was pretty rare to see an adult over the age of 35 who had all their front top teeth and no decay.

General dentistry is covered under the national health care system. It isnโ€™t that expensive (not to mention the kids at my school came from very wealthy families).

The only thing I can think of to explain this nonsense is just plain and simple negligence and badly trained dentists. Iโ€™m sure there are some good ones out there, but they must be hard to find.

  • Japanese beer. 

Yuck! Goodbye, forever Asahi and Kirin!

  • Of courseโ€ฆ the famous lack of trash cans

Although, you get used to carrying around trash in your purse. Itโ€™s not so bad.

  • Store clerks taping my shopping bags shut
  • The lack of proper smoking etiquette and modern smoking laws/restrictions. 

I canโ€™t tell you how many times someone at a bar has blown cigarette smoke right into my face. So rude.

  • Needing cash to pay for everything but having to pay 200 yen every time I need to take money out of my bank account
  • Not having a dryer in winter. 

Dryers are rare in Japan. I know some people who have one built into their washing machine, but Iโ€™m not even completely sure you can buy one that stands alone.

I get that they are bad for the environment, and I agree with that criticism, but listen up โ€“ when the inside of your house is literally at freezing temperatures in the middle of winter nothing will dry when you hang it.

  • Open/close hours for banks, ATMs, and post offices
  • The wastefulness of disposable wooden chopsticks. 

Even most nice upscale restaurants will only provide disposable chopsticks.

  • Omiyage and other nasty small snacks individually wrapped

Just everything that is individually wrapped, including produce.

  • The lack of napkins

Fuck wet tissues and their individual wrappers.

  • Pretending I am Russian so random men will not talk to me 

What? A white girl that doesnโ€™t speak English!?

Yes, itโ€™s a thing.

Jokes aside, pretending you donโ€™t speak English (or Japanese) works wonderfully when you want a Japanese guy to stop bothering you. They are pretty quick to give up.

  • Womenโ€™s fashion and lingerie *gag*

The fashion for women is frumpy or childlike. The lingerie looks like something only a unicorn should wear โ€“ too many bright colors, frills, lacy flowers with bows, and too much padding.

  • The obvious and in-your-face sexualization of very young girls *more gagging*

Itโ€™s everywhere. Girl groups, magazines, advertisements, commercials, etcโ€ฆ

  • Being complimented on how white my skin is *the ultimate gag*

This is the compliment I received most often. Colourism in Japan is just as real as everywhere else.

  • Panty lines and toes

I donโ€™t know why women in Japan donโ€™t wear thong underwear with tight pants. I also donโ€™t know why it really really bothered me. I guess it was just something that was always in my face walking down the street, so it was always on my mind.

Also, everyone tends to wear their shoes a few sizes too small or too big. While riding the train in silence and looking at the floor, youโ€™ll notice everyoneโ€™s toes hanging over the edge of their sandals and high heels.

Again, I donโ€™t know why things like this bother me. I really wish I didnโ€™t care.

  • Rude body comments

Japanese people are surprisingly rude when it comes to making inappropriate comments about other peopleโ€™s bodies. This is applicable to people you know well, colleagues at work, or complete and total strangers.

No matter what your body type is, just remember that in Japan you are always fat. I straight up got called fat on one occasion and got asked if I had โ€œbecome fat recentlyโ€ more times than I care to remember. Iโ€™m 5ft 6in(167cm) and weigh 110 lb.(49 kg). If I am fat, then everyone is fat. No exceptions.

(I also got a lot of really positive comments that I did enjoy, as I mentioned above.)

  • Women intentionally making their voices higher to sound like a child. 

Imagine Alvin and the Chipmunks but much, much whinierโ€ฆ and you canโ€™t just turn off the TV when youโ€™re over it.

  • Those same women welcome you into their stores by repeatedly screaming on the streets with their fake squeaky voices and then continuing to scream inside while you are trying to shop

โ€œWelcome, please take a look!โ€ โ€œWelcome! Welcome! Welcome!โ€ โ€œPlease take a look! Welcome! Welcome!โ€ โ€œWELCOME PLEASE TAKE A LOOK WELCOME!โ€

I donโ€™t know if this deserves to be on the โ€œwonโ€™t missโ€ list. Itโ€™s kind of like grocery store theme music โ€“ annoying yet oddly satisfying.

I mean, would I really be getting the full Japan shopping experience without all the unnecessary yelling? Likely not.

  • The very obvious passive and casual racism, prejudice, discrimination, and xenophobia that no one realizes, points out, questions, or challenges. 

Yes, I know that this is everywhere in every country to some extent. I also know that in adding this to my list it might seem ironic because I come from a famously racist country that still continues to have major problems in dealing with racism on an institutionalized level, consistently making global news.

And when I make a list titled โ€œThings I Wonโ€™t Miss About the U.S.,โ€ you can bet Iโ€™ll be discussing this exact issue at great length.

The thing is, injustice is never questioned or heard of by anyone in Japan, and I think that is what makes it upsetting.

Almost everything can be segregated by gender, sexual orientation, nationality, or ethnicity โ€“ bars segregated by gender, clubs denying entrance to certain nationalities, hotels, some eating establishments, and housing complexes proudly proclaiming โ€œJapanese Only.โ€

For a country that prides itself on its educational achievements and an economy and standard of living described as developed, modern, or high, the normalization of this is something that always puzzled me.

Letโ€™s not mention the invisibility and systematic struggles of Japanโ€™s other Asian ethnic minorities or people with disabilities.

Then again, fair enough. In a culture where uncomfortable discussion is preferred to be absent, and when ethnic Japanese people make up some 98% of the population, how could they possibly see, hear or even care about the difficulties of the other 2%? (This all ties into why diversity is so important to me, despite its challenges).

  • The constant rain in every season made me look like a cotton ball.

The weather in Japan actually kind of sucks. Itโ€™s constantly raining, rainy season or not. Itโ€™s not so fun to have curly hair in a world where everyone else has silky smooth hair, rain or shine, every day.

  • How slow people walk.

Japanโ€™s famous English name should change from โ€œThe Land of the Rising Sunโ€ to โ€œThe Land of the Slow Walkers.โ€

I laugh at my lame joke and cry from frustration at the same time. Back home I walk a lot and living in Japan as an American I need to get my walk on.

  • The pools of vomit everywhere.

Japanese cities have lots of people in small spaces who canโ€™t hold their alcohol. I know that I mentioned that I enjoyed the smell of vomit in Osaka. Itโ€™s really a love/hate thing. I definitely donโ€™t like stepping in it, though.

  • Karaoke bars. 

I fucking hate karaoke. Itโ€™s hard to find a good bar in Japan that doesnโ€™t have it.

  • Public toilets are absent of soap 50% of the time.

โ€ฆ and then watching in the restroom as people never wash their hands with soap, even when it is there the other 50% of the time.

Does somebody out there want to explain to me why Japanese people donโ€™t wash their hands with soap?

  • Kitchen and toilet slippers.

Ew. Just, ew. Toilet slippers are gross and unnecessary on every level.

  • Taking off my shoes in buildings that are not someoneโ€™s home. 

Unsurprisingly, taking off your shoes makes absolutely no difference in cleanliness when it is a larger building.

If you work in a public school in Japan you will have to take off your outside shoes and change to inside shoes at the entrance.

The school I worked in was filthy. Staff and students changing their shoes made no difference in this regard. My outside shoes were cleaner than my inside ones.

  • Rape-y Japanese porn randomly playing in hotel rooms and other convenient stores and sex shops.

Okay, letโ€™s be fair. I donโ€™t like the stereotypical aggressive Western porn either, but nothing is worse than Japanese porn, which you will see in Japan.

The women always seem to be being raped- fake crying, screaming โ€œno, stop it!โ€ over and over. Itโ€™s nothing less than creepy and kind of hard to get away from.


I know this is overkill, butโ€ฆ

Things You Might Think I Would Miss In Japan, But I Wonโ€™t

  • Escalator etiquette- having one standing lane and one walking lane

There are too many damn people in Japanโ€™s large cities to have one standing lane and one walking lane. Not enough people want to walk up escalators, making the standing lane long and void of use.

  • Vending machines 
  • too expensive
  • they all sell the same shitty beverages
  • thereโ€™s never Oolong tea (my favorite)
  • there are convenience stores on every corner anyway that sell the same drinks at a lower price
  • Japanese customer service

Yeah, whatever, they are very polite, but they donโ€™t actually help you when you have a problem, take responsibility for anything that is their fault, are able to explain anything beyond a simple โ€œno,โ€ or are able to speak to you in a non-robotic scripted manner. Definitely one of the things I hated about living in Japan.

I prefer American customer service any day โ€“ friendlier and way more helpful and accommodating.

Iโ€™m sure there are swarms of people ready to fight me on this. Thatโ€™s fine, bruh. Come at me!

  • Japanese toilets. 

Those high-tech toilets with a spray function, heated seats, and super private stalls are nice, but thatโ€™s not usually the kind of toilet you get when you move into your apartment unless youโ€™re a rich bitch when living in Japan.

What you usually get are regular toilets probably similar to what youโ€™re used to back home. They are low-water toilets with a small flush and big flush option. The low water aspect is pointless in my mind because it only causes me to flush and clean the toilet more often than I normally would.

True story:
I got food poisoning once in the middle of December when living in Japan when the inside of my house was well at freezing temperatures. After throwing up, I realized some of the puke had frozen to the inside of the toilet bowl where the water couldnโ€™t reach it.

So not only was my day ruined from hyperthermia and sickness, but I also had to clean the frozen puke from the inside of the toilet so my poor roommate wouldnโ€™t come home to a vomit-popsicle-lined toilet bowl.

No more standard Japanese toilets inside old Japanese houses, please.

  • Really small, uniquely styled, hole-in-the-wall bars
  • Overpriced basic drinks with no variation
  • weird ambiance
  • often claustrophobic
  • seating charges- making it too expensive to bar-hop
  • bad/no food options
  • too much karaoke
  • usually not a great social environment for drinking in a group
  • Trash collection days

Iโ€™m sure the environmentally conscious are excited to hear about Japanโ€™s trash system. I was in the beginning, as well.

The way it works is that you have to separate your trash and then there is a designated pick-up day for each separation โ€“ usually twice a week for burnable and one day a week for each pile of recyclables. Every city is different.

I always heard foreigners living in Japan complaining about separating their trash. The truth is I enjoyed separating it.

However, I hated only having two days a week to throw out burnable garbage. What this means is that in summer, when your Japanese house is 95F (35C) inside, you will have hot, smelly, mould-infested garbage just chilling in your kitchen until the specific day you can throw it out.

God forbid you miss that day, as I often did.


Things You Might Think I Wouldnโ€™t Miss In Japan, But I Will

Just kidding.

Though I bet I could think of a few for that list too for living in Japan.

In the end, if you are thinking about living in Japan, I hope first that you realize that Japan isnโ€™t all that fantastic after the excitement dies down.

Of course, itโ€™s a wonderful country with lovely people and a rich and beautiful culture very new and foreign to your own, but just like any other country, it has its faults. For many foreigners who decide to leave, those faults are the reason for that decision.

Some of the deal-breaker negatives I hear people complain about when living in Japan are the lack of job opportunities, the stereotyping, the racist comments, the stares, and the lack of privacy at work or in your neighborhood and being the only different faceโ€ฆ

Waitโ€ฆ are these complaints from foreigners living in Japan or minority groups in the U.S.?

Yeah, thatโ€™s right. I got some jokes.

In all seriousness, even those commonly cited negatives never really bothered me that much.

And even though I made that separate โ€œwonโ€™t missโ€ list, I could still see myself living in Japan again one day given the right circumstances and opportunity โ€“ most importantly, if I could find a job that I would be happy to call a career (and that could afford me $9 peaches).

Now that I am back home I will most surely continue to add to the list of โ€œThings I Will Missโ€ rather than โ€œThings I Will Not Miss,โ€ because I will forever miss living in Japan and consider it a second home and I loved living in Japan.

If you have the yearning and ability to do more than just travel in Japan for the 90 days allowed by your travel visa, I suggest you take it! It is never a mistake to live in a different country and learn about a new culture, even if itโ€™s just for a short time, and living in Japan is an experience not to be missed.

Who knows? You might even find yourself in a new home.


Living in Japan as a foreigner

Backpackingman notes:

Jessica has given you a good idea about living in Japan as a foreigner becoming a so-called โ€œJapanicanโ€ and adapting to the Japanese lifestyle and everything that went with it. Also, what the Japanese attitude towards foreigners can be like.

If youโ€™re looking for cheap places for living in Japan then Osaka is one of the best as far as the big cities go. I certainly found it cheaper than Tokyo and Kyoto, so if youโ€™re looking to live in Japan and want to stay in a city then Osaka is a great choice.

You can also find some of the cheapest accommodation in Japan in Osaka surprisingly enough given that it is a big city. A private budget hotel room can be found for as little as $15 a night and still in the center.

The cost of living in Japan is not cheap as Japan is an expensive country in many ways, but the salary you will make there will more than help compensate for those costs.

The standard of living in Japan is very high although they do have a hard work ethic.

More reading to help with living in Japan:

A guide to teaching English in Tokyo.

Getting a TEFL certificate can help you greatly in getting an English teaching job while living in Japan. This is a highly recommended and accredited TEFL course provider.

If youโ€™re planning to travel around to different parts of Japan a Japan Rail Pass (get one with that link) can save a lot of money on the fast Shinkansen trains.

Pick for a guidebook: Pocket Kyoto & Osaka (Travel Guide)


I hope this article has given a good impression of what itโ€™s like living in Japan and I hope you get to Japan someday!


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70 thoughts on “Living In Japan As a Foreigner (The Good, Bad, & WTF)”

  1. One thing that wasn’t listed that I’ll never miss is parents letting their young children ride in the front seat of the car, or without a seatbelt in the back so they can stand up and move around.

    I worked in a preschool for 2 years in Japan, and saw 2 and 3 year old riding in the front seat. My boss and his wife once drove me to the station, and he was in the passenger seat with his new born baby in his arms, and I had to have his 4 year old daughter sit in my lap. And just yesterday I saw a mother with 3 children, one really young girl, not much older than 2, was in the front seat.

    It disgusts me every time I see it. The blatant child endangerment is appalling in this “1st world country”

  2. You want to know the problem? They seriously donโ€™t know.
    Itโ€™s not that they are doing this on purpose.

    Call it a literacy issue if you want.
    But I think itโ€™s fair to say that no parent wants to put their child in danger.

  3. I absolutely loved this post and laughed out loud… a few times. Thank you! I have been living in Asia (Vietnam and now China) for the past 9 years and I can relate to many, if not most of this. While Asian countries vary, (I have been to most of them now), a lot is universal to the region and as an expat you notice. Great read. I loved the honesty, although I do love Japanese food.

  4. Great article! I just moved to Japan, and while I am a 56yr old white male, the likes and dislikes are spot on! I majored in Japanese in college but never did anything with it, so I figured it was now or never at this point in my life.

    I will be spending at least a year here while I go to school, so I’m looking forward to the challenges… after a couple of months here, I’ve already seen a few disappointments …

    (And you left out the utter unavailability of CHEESE! How I miss eating a pound of CHEESE every week…)

  5. Hi this was an interesting read, I was watching a drama and am pretty familiar with anime, manga, etc. But after just getting into dramas i was confused at the female characters not being strong like the ones i see in anime, (continuing to crush on a huge douche despite his doucheness and never standing up for herself) So i was searching what its like for women in japan then started coming across “what do japanese think of foreigners” then stumbled upon this article. I always wanted to visit Japan, and after reading this i still do but ill keep that 6$ small pack of strawberries in mind (WTF?!)

  6. This post is fantastic! ๐Ÿ™‚ I wish more people wrote so frankly! We’re headed to Japan in March and I’ve learnt more from this than any other blog. Thanks!

  7. I know everyone is different but I am struggling to understand how anyone could say the food is dull in Japan .
    The part about the special food in each area is kind of true but the real reason behind each area being famous for a different food / drink is apparently a domestic tourism thing

  8. interesting review on japan, but its mostly true lol i read the whole thing as i have been thinking if i should move to japan from La, to live family that are getting old. but they help raise me as a child in los angeles when my mom was sick, long story short. im half japanese and i feel the tension in japan. even at a tiny izakaya the man kept saying in japanese โ€œnihongene janai several time lmao. i was the only one that understood him as it was filled with foreigners , i sat there thinking wow he hates non japanese , as i tell my girlfriend which doesnโ€™t speak japanese. and yes they judge tattoos! my family in nagano understand my tatts and are fine nit when we go shopping or out i have to cover up due to possibly getting shunned or kickout lol so i agree japan is great place to visit but the whole dryer thing and temp same as outdoors is true trust me i know i stay in nagano everytime i visit . living there will be difficult/different but to every one thier own, but even my half japanese ass found it hard to find my living their .

  9. As a longterm American expat in Hong Kong, I really like the way she was frank about giving her opinions. I often find that when I say anything not totally positive about Hong Kong I get accused of being ethnocentric or worse, but I think it’s just normal to have mixed feelings about any place you live. Moreover, just because you personally don’t like something or express confusion about it, doesn’t mean you think it’s wrong or the way of doing things in your own country is superior.
    For example, one thing that continues to freak me out in Hong Kong is the different sense of personal space. Basically, it’s impossible to walk around in public without being lightly jostled by the crowd of passing strangers, or to not suddenly find some stranger standing within inches of one’s own body. Rather than saying “excuse me” in any locally spoken language or dialect, some people will simply nudge you out of their way to get to an item on a grocery store shelf, for example. Now, this comfort with getting close to strangers is probably a positive thing culturally. It shows a much greater level of trust in other people and seems to be evidence of safe society in general. I wish I could say the same about the good ole personal-space-loving USA. However, that doesn’t change the fact that even after 20 years of living here, I don’t like being constantly impacted by other people’s bodies. I can deal with it, or I wouldn’t be here, but it definitely isn’t my favourite thing.
    I’ve occasionally expressed this opinion to other expats or locals and been met with very negative responses. There’s denial (“no, this doesn’t happen, people don’t encroach on your personal space, you are imagining it”), annoyance at my expressing a negative view (“you’re rude to say anything negative about our country because you’re a visitor here”) or having negative emotions (“you should learn Buddhism”), the aforementioned accusations of ethnocentricity, etc. I guess my point is that I think expats (and everyone else) should be able to express their experiences and emotions without getting condemned or shut down, and I admire those who are willing to speak freely.

  10. I think you’re on the right track but jumped to obvious and not correct conclusions at times. And hanging out for over 3 years is a good run for a single woman. Only know of one other who made it just over 4 years before returning to Maryland. Most leave after their first contract ends. No one ever learns much Japanese as an ALT.

    Ever run into DaRoo in Osaka? He’s been there since about 2010 with a trip back to Kentucky for a short interim.

    I also like the Oolong tea that usually comes in a purple can. I find in vending machines near/at temples where Chinese monks come to study (Kyoto’s Chion-in for example). You can also tell where Filipino women live because of the kreteks (clove cigarettes) in the tobacco vending machines.

    Front loading Japanese washing machines work great. The type that just have a flat disk spinner on the bottom must be what you had. With the spin cycle taking place in an adjacent part of the washer.

    Never got the Touyu Stobu going in winter? I thought living in Japan in winter was like camping out indoors. The kerosene stove would dry clothes while keeping you warm.

    For those that miss the food from home, look for a Kinokuniya grocery store (supaa). I got some of the best Italian Gorganzola there that was better than I can find in the US. (As well as brie, etc.). Japanese cheeses are improving although they cater toward the softer types it seems (unless you just get the Snow Brand in the round box).

    The only bars that I’ve been to that have karaoke are the snack/hostess bars that I’ve rarely paid for (Y7000/hour/person). There are plenty of “shot bars” where you can go and listen to music and get cocktails. Some big name jazz artists play in tiny bars in Japan if you want to listen to them close up (but pay $50 + drinks).

    Couldn’t survive the summers in Arizona. Last time down there I was always looking for shade, but enjoy what you’re used to!

  11. Been living in Japan for about a year and I promise you everything she stated is ๐Ÿ’ฏ correct!

  12. This was really realistic and well written. In an internet full of praise for Japan, I was relieved to find this – I recently came back from doing some research in Japan, and was shocked to find that overall, I’m kind of annoyed with Japan/had a bad experience (which, to be fair, is partially not Japan’s fault).

    Anyone who shares a bad opinion of Japan tends to get hushed or berated, so your leveled complaints and complements was so refreshing.

    I was so pumped to go to Japan, and had studied the language and drank up a bunch of info about shrines and culture, as well as vlogs and anime honestly, and my experience was just so much worse as a female trying to do research there than I was ready for. More info about Japan needs to be like this! I had definitely idealized Japan, and while there are great things that I definitely enjoyed (I will fight you about the wet cloths, though I would also definitely like regular napkins in addition), this kind of realistic perspective, granting that Japan has pitfalls too, is so refreshing, and more cathartic for me than I care to admit.

    A comment about the food – at first I was like “WTF why’s that on the “won’t miss” list??” Then I realized I kind of agree. At first, for me, the food was *amazing*. Then it became very “bland” to me and seemed like it was missing something – something that would pop back up whenever I was eating something with pork belly or the like – I think a lot of Japanese food lacks richness and enough of that umami taste for me. I loved Japanese food, but definitely got very disgruntled about it for a brief period of time because my taste buds were missing the richness of a good creamy, buttery, fatty, what-have-you that may flavor lots of American foods.

    Thanks for a nice post!

  13. I really love to read Jessica’s comments about Japan. As a Hong Konger who understands the culture of Japan profoundly, can’t agree more to most of her view! She’s really observant and sensitive. I, with an Asian face, sometimes felt the same when I visited Japan. Yet Japan is really captivating, I do hope more foreigners can experience those “miss” and “wouldn’t miss”. Btw, I love Japanese food, except the raw ones.

  14. I studied Japanese language in college, along with culture courses and lots of conversations with my two Japanese native professors. Both of them had assimilated pretty well into the US, and I think that contributed a lot to them giving me straight answers about things. For a long time in college, I figured I would move to Japan after graduation via the JET program. However, I am now 25 and three years out of college and still haven’t done it. The reason? Pretty much all the negative things Jessica wrote about here.

    I never traveled to Japan during my studies, but all the research and Japanese students I talked to at my university gave me a pretty good idea of how it is there. I also had a few penpals for a time. I’ve voiced my concerns to several people who love Japan (read: they love anime) and fellow students who wanted to live and work there. Almost invariably, I received backlash and was labeled xenophobic or intolerant to their culture. It’s really, really refreshing to read the opinions of someone who lived there and isn’t afraid to basically say that Japan has serious issues. I won’t go as far as saying that Japanese values and culture are morally suspect, but I will say that a country where people robotically accept the very worst aspects of their culture with merely a “shouganai” is deeply flawed.

    Assuming Jessica would like to answer, I’m curious if you encountered any Japanese people who actively talked out against these things? You mentioned the loud and spirited women, and I thought that was awesome. But did anyone break rank? Did a single person just level with you and be real? I refuse to believe an entire country is that subjugated by cultural obligations. Japanese men are notoriously awful, no lie, but did you meet any who defied your expectations? Writing this, I feel incredibly racist, but I’ve just read and heard so much negative feedback.

    Thank you for this article!

  15. As a Japanese living in Arizona whose family lives in Japan, I appreciated Jessica’s list. Obviously the American and Japanese cultures are greatly contrasted in many aspects. In discovering my heritage in recent years, I’ve learned that many of the cultural characteristics of the US and Japanese are the result of individualism and collectivism, which was something I didn’t recognize in my earlier years. I understand her frustration, as I see and experience both cultures.

  16. I relate to this list on such a deep, deep level. I’ve lived in Japan for five years now and am planning to head back to the US in a few months. As a white American woman I know that my (and Jessica’s) experience is quite different than a person of color and/or someone from another Asian country, but the racism, sexism, and deep-seated discrimination I witness and experience on a daily basis is just exhausting. Men slowly eyeing me up and down, women telling me how “lucky” I am to have white skin, being denied housing simply because I am a foreigner… the list goes on. And if I’m told one more time that Japan can’t possibly have racism because the population is so homogeneous I might start tearing my hair out.

    Also, NO SOAP IN THE BATHROOMS. This is probably the one thing that confuses me the most about this country. You have space-age toilets in public restrooms but no hand soap? No sense of basic hygiene? And even when there is hand soap available, it’s a green, watery liquid with likely minimal antibacterial qualities… that no one uses anyway.

    Similarly to Jessica, there are so many things that I love about Japan and will miss enormously when I go back to the States (hot conbini tea, I love you so much). But I’ve found over the past years that Japan has way too many issues that would make it impossible for me to make a life here. As a queer person there is no mechanism for me to legally get married and have a family, and even if I could I would never want a child of mine to be repressed and robotized in the stifling Japanese public education system. On top of which, non- and part-Japanese children face such intense bullying in schools.

    Anyway, thanks for putting together such a frank, honest list! There were many instances of “OMG THAT!” which I quite enjoyed (^^)

  17. A thousand thank-you’s for this post! I have been considering starting to learn Japanese as my third language (currently an american fluently living in Germany) but know from learning german how intense of a cultural experience becoming fluent in a language is. You trade a part of yourself to allow for a new understanding of life through a different culture. Unfortunately due to this article and various others, and although I have already started learning the Hiragana, I will most likely stop with my pursuit of Japanese proficiency, despite the fact that I find the letters and pronounciation totally cool! Time to move on to the next possibility. Any suggestions?

  18. Having traveled to Japan annually since 2009 for work, & lived in Japan for one of those years, I can relate to alot of what she has said. That being said, I am months from retirement & plan to return to Japan when the COVID-19 mess is over. Duration of my stay is still up in the air. Permanent retirement in Japan is not in the cards. Long term stay, possible.
    Over the years, I have noticed the discrimination from the Japanese people, their inconsistency with their own customs, as well as their professionalism in the retail setting. The good & the bad. I learned early on not to let their racism get to me. It’s a very old culture, & me as an American really has no right to try & “fix” them. If you let it get to you, you will be miserable. Just accept it & go on about your daily life. Never has it directly affected me to the point where I really felt offended to the point of anger.
    If you haven’t been to Japan, it’s worth the trip. If you have been, I hope you have found memories. I’ve traveled to many countries over the years. Japan is one of the better ones. Trust me, there are some really bad ones out there.
    Be adventurous, be careful, & have fun.

  19. Great article! I agree with so much she observed about Japan, but then again I have the advantage of having been born in Japan and spent the first 13 years of my life there. The subsequent 50 years have included living in Thailand, Germany and mostly in the US. Yes, Japan is a complex culture no doubt! The unsaid speaks so much louder than the said – polar opposite to the US. The homogeneity of the people, culture and educational system make it difficult and uncomfortable for many Japanese to interact confidently with Gaigin – often leading to responses that seems to be deliberately ignoring your needs. This may be construed as possibly discriminatory by westerners, but it is more likely because they simply don’t know how to deal with the situation and are deathly afraid of using their poor “Engrish” they studied for years in school. God forbid they do not want to wind up looking foolish or even possibly offending the foreigner. Japan is lovely in so many ways but still trapped in many ways by language and culture. To wrap up, my top 3 hates of Japan are: 1. Weather! 2. Freezing cold/sweltering hot houses. 3. Bugs, bugs, bugs! Top likes: 1. Food! 2. Scenery 3. People – especially when they learn that you are still Japanese at heart.

  20. Iโ€™m convinced the comment about being for Americans is true ๐Ÿ˜‚. Japanese food is incredible, and flavours are incredibly diverse! Being from Sydney, where you get authentic foods from all over the world, I canโ€™t really say I would ever pick an American styled dish ๐Ÿ˜…. I completely agree with so so so many points though!
    Great article! I only spent 1.5 years there, but wish it was longer.

  21. I’m trying to figure out if I want to learn Japanese, because the more I get into the cons of Japan, as a foreigner, I just get discouraged. I’m 28 now, and still working out my career trade, and learning a language, is a life commitment. I understand no country is perfect, but Japan is a first world nation, they’re ahead of the curb in comparison to the United States in some respects. So I get annoyed when Japan gets a pass for their racism, it gets called rational xenophobia instead. I think if you work hard, love the culture, know the language and are productive, there shouldn’t be an issue at all. Immigrants who leech off the government, have no business living in a foreign country.

    I’m shocked you got racist comments for being a white woman, I say that because men are well, men. I really think most of those Japanese men wanted to hook up with you, but have instilled notions in their head from birth, on how to view foreigners.

  22. Half the stuff I agree with, but the other half is you just being extremely nit picky or ignorant.
    First off, the trash can thing. There is a reason for it , look up the attack in the 90’s made by a religious cult and you will understand why this is.
    A lot of the things you didn’t like was just very petty ignorant points from someone who sounds spoiled. And no need to insult the way people dress.
    The Japanese Only specifically for restaurants only is speaking about the language. If you speak Japanese most of them will let you eat there. But, yes japan is very racist because the older generation tends to be the one in charge of most things there.

    Toilet slippers are so you don’t drag urine and other nasty things into the rest of your house. You wear them only for the toilet room and that’s it. It’s very cleanly.

    Also why are you listing things like walking slow, and panty lines as something you specifically hate in Japan? Like no other country does this? Why are you worrying about peoples panties? Why are you even staring at there butts.

    It’s sad to see so many good points you made get over shadows by so many ridiculous, childish and down right privilege complaints you had. Japan is far from perfect , but it’s not as petty as you sound in this article.

  23. Female Long Timer in Japan

    I agree with a fair bit of what is written here, and found amusing some of the rest. I am a white, American, never married woman who has been in Japan for over 20 (yes, twenty) years, living in Kanto, and currently Tokyo. We do exist. Most long-term white women, though, are straight and married to Japanese men.

    I will soon be leaving Japan, though, for some of the very reasons above. In addition, the new labor law rules meaning that I time out of jobs every 3-5 years and have to find a new place to start again, which keeps wages and paid holidays forever low these days. And this whole Covid thing has really made the systemic xenophobia impossible to ignore, though everyone continues to pretend it is not there and that they are not xenophobic when they say some of the things they do.

    One other thing from the commentary at the end: I would not say that the salaries compensate the high cost of living any more, though did 20 years ago, before the visa limit was dropped from 250,000 to 180,000 minimum a month. I would also say this a lot of this post, and my own comments, only apply to people from Europe or North America, and specifically English speakers.

  24. Thank you Jessica for your post. After living in Japan for close to a year, I find that I agree with most of your points.

    I am definitely missing the trains and the city and neighborhood lifestyle that they foster. I also hate cars. This is hard to explain unless you have experienced both lifestyles, but by itself having a train system puts Japanese cities (or maybe any modern city with a good subway system?) in a class of their own. My favorite of the effects was that it allows all sorts of hole-in-the-wall specialty shops and bars to thrive, because when everybody is moving around on foot, every alley is as good for commerce as an avenue.

    That being said, I will not be missing the nightlife, mostly because I did not take part in it. Same for alcohol-infused vomit, it’s hard for me to see how one might like it, or find themselves in that situation more than once. Also I would not want to dirty the streets of the city I’m living in, but that’s just me.

    Their medical system is indeed very puzzling. I had a visa valid for 1.5 years, and I probably would have found a way to prolong it even further, but my stay was cut short because of a medical issue. After seeing a couple of doctors, they not only failed to recognize my problem (a pretty standard one, but one that needs surgery to fix, as I later discovered) instead prescribing some very shady and ineffective medicine (Traditional Chinese herbal powders) and in one case an antibiotic that is almost never used in EU/US today, which caused me some nasty effects that persist to this day.

    As for the food, I loved it! I’m not familiar with American cuisine, but I found the Japanese one to be one of the best I’ve ever tried. Maybe it’s a matter of personal taste, or maybe it’s a similarity of culture, since in my own country (Italy) we also tend to prefer lightly seasoned food, without too much cream, fat, or butter. Like the Japanese, we love to season food with just sea salt, vinegar, and herbs! I can see how it may be perceived as bland, though.

    I also found fruit and vegetables too pricey and the proliferation of plastic wrapping maddening, as well as the lack of thermal insulation in houses and the ineffectiveness of washing machines (tip: it’s because they lack a heating element! and that’s because traditionally you would run the washing machine off the hot bathwather after every member of the family took their bath.) But they all fall into the category of cultural differences, and for every bad point I can think of a good point that balances it.

    Will I be going back? Maybe. If I do, it will not be in endless Tokyo or in messy Osaka, but maybe one of the smaller places. The main point of contention, for me, is the question: do I want to trade the relative comfort of my home town, family, friends, and a stable job for the sense of adventure and excitement of living on the other side of the world, *knowing full well that I will always be an outsider*, even if I hypothetically ended up making a family there?

    I don’t know yet. But I’m still studying Japanese and watching Japanese media every day, 2.5 years after returning home, so maybe that’s already an answer.

    Best of luck to you! And to anybody reading this, please don’t be discouraged by those who mention the bad and the ugly of Japan. If anything, it will make the good stand out even more. I would still make the choice of going there and I will probably go back for more. In fact, I should have done it sooner in my life.

  25. Thank you Jessica for your post. Having lived in Japan for close to a year, I find that I agree with most of your points.

    I am definitely missing the trains and the city and neighborhood lifestyle that they foster. I also hate cars. This is hard to explain unless you have experienced both lifestyles, but having a train system puts Japanese cities (or maybe any modern city with a good subway system?) in a class of their own. My favorite of the effects was that it allows all sorts of hole-in-the-wall specialty shops and bars to thrive, because when everybody is moving around on foot, every alley is as good for commerce as an avenue.

    That being said, I will not be missing the nightlife, mostly because I did not take part in it. Same for alcohol-infused vomit, it’s hard for me to see how one might like it, or find themselves in that situation more than once. Also I would not want to dirty the streets of the city I’m living in, but that’s just me.

    Their medical system is indeed very puzzling. I had a visa valid for 1.5 years, and I probably would have found a way to prolong it even further, but my stay was cut short because of a medical issue. After seeing a couple of doctors, they not only failed to recognize my problem (a pretty standard one, but one that needs surgery to fix, as I later discovered) instead prescribing some very shady and ineffective medicine (Traditional Chinese herbal powders) and in one case an antibiotic that is almost never used in EU/US today, which caused me some nasty effects that persist to this day.

    As for the food, I loved it! I’m not familiar with American cuisine, but I found the Japanese one to be one of the best I’ve ever tried. Maybe it’s a matter of personal taste, or maybe it’s a similarity of culture, since in my own country (Italy) we also prefer lightly seasoned food, without too much cream, fat, or butter. Like the Japanese, we love to season food with just sea salt, vinegar, and herbs! I can see how it may be perceived as bland, though.

    I also found fruit and vegetables too pricey and the proliferation of plastic wrapping maddening, as well as the lack of thermal insulation in houses and the ineffectiveness of washing machines (tip: it’s because they lack a heating element! and that’s because traditionally you would run the washing machine off the hot bathwater after every member of the family took their bath.) But they all fall into the category of cultural differences, and for every bad point I can think of a good point that balances it.

    Will I be going back? Maybe. If I do, it will not be in endless Tokyo or in messy Osaka, but maybe one of the smaller places. The main point of contention, for me, is the question: do I want to trade the relative comfort of my home town, family, friends, and a stable job for the sense of adventure and excitement of living on the other side of the world, *knowing full well that I will always be an outsider,* even if I ended up making a family there?

    I don’t know yet. But I’m still studying Japanese and watching Japanese media every day, 2.5 years after returning home, so maybe that’s already an answer.

    Best of luck to you! And to anybody reading this, please don’t be discouraged by the accounts of the bad and the ugly of Japan. If anything, it will make the good stand out even more. I would still make the choice of going there and I will probably go back for more. In fact, I should have done it sooner in my life.

  26. Thank you Jessica for your post. Having lived in Japan for close to a year, I find that I agree with most of your points.

    I am definitely missing the trains and the city and neighborhood lifestyle that they foster. I also hate cars. This is hard to explain unless you have experienced both lifestyles, but having a train system puts Japanese cities (or maybe any modern city with a good subway system?) in a class of their own. My favorite of the effects was that it allows all sorts of hole-in-the-wall specialty shops and bars to thrive, because when everybody is moving around on foot, every alley is as good for commerce as an avenue.

    That being said, I will not be missing the nightlife, mostly because I did not take part in it. Same for alcohol-infused vomit, it’s hard for me to see how one might like it, or find themselves in that situation more than once. Also I would not want to dirty the streets of the city I’m living in, but that’s just me.

    Their medical system was indeed very puzzling. I had a visa valid for 1.5 years, and I probably would have found a way to prolong it even further, but my stay was cut short because of a medical issue. After seeing a couple of doctors, they not only failed to recognize my problem (a pretty standard one, but one that needs surgery to fix, as I later discovered) instead prescribing some very shady and ineffective medicine (Traditional Chinese herbal powders) and in one case an antibiotic that is almost never used in EU/US today, which caused me some nasty effects that persist to this day.

    As for the food, I loved it! I’m not familiar with American cuisine, but I found the Japanese one to be one of the best I’ve ever tried. Maybe it’s a matter of personal taste, or maybe it’s a similarity of culture, since in my own country (Italy) we also prefer lightly seasoned food, without too much cream, fat, or butter. Like the Japanese, we love to season food with just sea salt, vinegar, and herbs! I can see how it may be perceived as bland, though.

    I also found fruit and vegetables too pricey and the proliferation of plastic wrapping maddening, as well as the lack of thermal insulation in houses and the ineffectiveness of washing machines (tip: it’s because they lack a heating element! and that’s because traditionally you would run the washing machine off the hot bathwater after every member of the family took their bath.) But they all fall into the category of cultural differences, and for every bad point I can think of a good point that balances it.

    Will I be going back? Maybe. If I do, it will not be in endless Tokyo or in messy Osaka, but maybe one of the smaller places. The main point of contention, for me, is the question: do I want to trade the relative comfort of my home town, family, friends, and a stable job for the sense of adventure and excitement of living on the other side of the world, *knowing full well that I will always be an outsider,* even if I ended up making a family there?

    I don’t know yet. But I’m still studying Japanese and watching Japanese media every day, 2.5 years after returning home.

    Best of luck to you! And to anybody reading this, please don’t be discouraged by the accounts of the bad and the ugly of Japan. If anything, it will make the good stand out even more. I would still make the choice of going there and I will probably go back for more. In fact, I should have done it sooner in my life.

  27. Interesting read Jessica. I lived in Japan for 14 years and have been back in my home country England for 4.5 years so can relate to what you have written.

  28. It felt sooo good to read this article! Thanks a lot, Jessica!!! I live in Japan for 1 year now and it’s the first time I find an article that synthesized that well what it feels like to live here as a white woman!
    Is it possible to follow Jessica on socials?

  29. At times I found this article to be unneccesarily callous in respect to Japanese culture, mainly the food comments. However, I do come to appreciate the brutal honesty of this blog.

    I have been looking into working in Japan for two years after I finish my degree and I found this article to be the best in gaining insight.

    So far I come across 1 of 2 types of articles:
    1. Over-glorification of Japan
    2. Straight-up bagging every aspect of Japan

    In summation, I thank you for the insight I have gained.

    Safe travels.

  30. Pingback: 7 Day Highlights Of Japan Itinerary | Wallflower in Wanderland

  31. Pingback: The Fun (& Wet?) Side of Teaching English Abroad - Television of Nomads

  32. Interesting article and very cool website. I’m going over this while doing my research for an upcoming vacation in Japan (first time).

    The cultural differences are always very interesting to notice. At times amusing, at times frustrating. One thing I’ll never forget is the difference of attitude of the politicians and the public at large regarding some folks who, years ago, became hostage during the Iraqi war. In the country I come from (Romania), when the hostages returned safely home they were greeted at the airport by the president of the country and everyone was so happy to see them back. By coincidence, a couple of Japanese also fell hostages in Iraq and when they returned home they were shamed by the politicians (“do you know how many sleepless nights we had because of you?”) and by their families, friends and fellow Japanese (apparently they had brought shame on them!). Those poor people ended up having to receive therapy, since the stress they endured after returning home was so much worse than the one during their captivity.

  33. “A lot of the things you didnโ€™t like was just very petty ignorant points from someone who sounds spoiled.” <—This. I think the "too expensive to barhop" complaint was the most unbelievably whiny and inane part of an already very entitled blog post.

  34. I lived in Japan for 4 years. Granted as a male.
    I thought the food was great. So much so, that I used to not like fish very much until I lived in Japan and became damn near a sashimi aficionado.
    What kind of apartment did this blogger live in? Aounds damn near like a hostel because my apartment had a minisplit AC unit that also had heating function as well in the winter.
    As far as garbage goes, I always had 3 trash cans. She’s not wrong on the strict trash days though. As far as technology goes though, especially internet, Japan takes the cake. Back in 2006 I had Yahoo BB pumping a whopping 1.5GBPS connection speed.

    I always found Japanese people to be relatively shy or cautious. I always broke the ice by buying a round. As soon as I’d do that, they group up and took me on some wild nights out and invited me to some cool trips. Going skiing with a group at in Yamagata prefecture was awesome and, to me, was better than Nagano.

    I will admit, the porn scene in Japan is a bit wierd and definately pushes the underage or barely legal envelope and is a bit rapey.

    As far as vending machines go, at tge time I was there, they were awesome. There wasn’t a single thing you couldn’t get from a vending machine (Exaggerated of course) but the variety is insane… Including adult toys ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿคฃ.

    I could go on and on, but tgere were soo many great things I did in Japan. Hell, I even had a car. Driving is expensive though with gas prices + JCI + Road tax + Expressways.

    But damn, sometimes I wish I could go back.

  35. Stumbled across this article. Been here since 2002. Raised 3 children here. I didnt find this article callous at all. I found it quite entertaining even though I love Japanese food. Her opinions on food as she stated were her own opinions. Why do people get offended when they have a different opinion or experience they had. Everyone who goes on a trip whether short or long will have a different view according to the people they meet , the amount of language they know, the work establishment they are at and how much you make. If they returned in a different year their opinions might change yet again. These articles are here to share our experience. My gripe is with the expats who shoot down every foreignerโ€™s opinion โ€œjust because they haven’t lived here long enough โ€ and think that they are considered local (by their inner circle) probably dont know they never will be-because behind closed doors is another view. Oh the etiquette here is wonderful! A good thing in my opionion!

  36. Great reply! You’re right, everyone’s opinion will be different depending on their experiences. I have never lived in Japan but travelled there for several months over 2 different trips, so my experience is way different as I never worked there. And I love Japanese food as well!

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